Thursday, December 25, 2014

Its Christmas.

We realize that its just one day. 
One day with a hundred others spend waiting. 
One day with so many memories.
Of all the happiness that we lacked throughout the year pushed aside, a smile plastered on your face as you and your mom work on homemade cookies.
As your little brother dances on your sides while you work on the finishing pieces for the Christmas tree that you put up a month too early. But its still fresh. At least to you.
In my busy days with excruciating mid terms and projects due; I had once again lost count of time. Today, in I realized; we are halfway through December already. Its almost Christmas. 
As my favorite Youtuber spends most of her Vlogmas snuggled in a festive red blanket, drinking peppermint tea out of a mug with Santa's undoubtedly large face clearly plastered on it, I had come to terms with the fact that its almost the 25th.
Its the day when a week earlier, every glamorous celebrity had gone home; found their cozie and their favorite spot on their porch with their shabby old grey sweatshirt from high school watching the snow fall. Slowly. Its when all of us got the break from life. Just a small if not a large one. 
And we drove, flew, ran, cycled and did everything possible to leave the house we had excitedly gotten at 21 to go the one we born in.
I wanted to know. 
What does it genuinely feel like? 
The time where the bright cities that we have adorned in for days with countless hours spend working at the place that was only paying our rent for now and we are yet looking for job is left. And we drive home in a rented care with snow eagerly splattering on our windshields. The thought of a warm house, a home cooked meal and our childhood park racing in the back of our minds.
Is that what it feels like?
When you sit at home, hug your mom and tell her how it didn't work out between you and him. How much you missed her scent. How much your annoying next door neighbor would never seem annoying again. How much you missed coming home from school with a headache and thrashing algebra homework. How much you missed seeing faces when you got home and since there were none back at your one bed roomed apartment.
When you sit against the fire, your mom's knitted socks slowly warming your feet, an odd sense of warmth engulfing you even though you're depressed about how much you miss your life back home and you don't want to go back where you live now.
When you get gifts that you weren't expecting. When your grandparents hug you and tell you they're proud of your accomplishments an independent individual and how much you've grown and you secretly think, have grown?!
When you laugh pointlessly at your dad's retirement jokes and you go eat apple cobbler's at the small restaurant that you secretly hated eating at. When you meet all your old girlfriends and they laugh at the pictures in your phone or your new updated wardrobe. When they offer you a drink but you decide to remain sober for the night so you can remember it.
When your mom's streak and fries are the best thing on this planet and your dad's grazing the fire while your older sister arrives home with her husband. And you laugh pointlessly. Again.
When the snow fills up your backyard and you wake up the 8 am to watch your mom and dad working with the shovel; trying to push it off and the end of December slowly being greeted with a sun. Shining on the snow. Melting it.
And everything seems perfect. And you look back to say that Christmas was the best time of the year. It was a perfect end.
And you would never forget that winter. Ever.


  1. I hope you had a wonderful time x

    1. Both of us don't celebrate Xmas and that's what mainly drove me to write this post. Hope you had a good Christmas though :)


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