I'm a writer.
I know that now.
I've actually always sort of known.
Ever since my golden childhood days, I remember having an overwhelming urge to write. I felt it in the blood running through my veins, in my bones, in all parts. It was a passion and it still is.
As time wore on, holding a pen, poised over a blank page became much more difficult. The things I wanted to write about became complicated.
I was no longer the girl in the princess tiara writing stories about magical lands, castles and dragons. And not all of what I wanted to write had a happy ending.
My mind was a mess.
It still is.
Organization has never really been my strong suit. I've always been more of a "wing it" kind of person. And it translates into the overwhelming chaos inside of me.
Humans, I've learned, are complicated beings.
We can create and we can destroy.
The world is ours to wander upon with reckless steps yet we choose to set up camp, never moving, until time is taken from us and we find ourselves in the ground we were meant to understand.
A couple days ago, a friend of mine said something to me that made me immediately want to get out my phone and blog. This title came to mind instantly.
Her theory is that our souls are energy. And when we die, that energy is released. But energy can neither be created or destroyed. It is chaotic.
And thus, we human beings are chaos.
A beautiful chaos.
Maybe our lives aren't as simple as we want them to be. There's no straight road in life. The path we were meant to take goes through the woods and you'll scratch yourself on brambles and prick yourselves on thorns but come out in the end and after thinking and consideration, I've decided that nothing comes easy. You have to work to earn. And that chaos inside of you just might be the key to a beautiful life.
The key to you.
Because you are not you.
You're the songs you listen to while you cry, the things you eat when you're sick, the books you read on a rainy day. You're the fights with your best friend and the tears makeups after, the way you squeeze your eyes, not believing them and the words you whisper over and over telling yourself that it will be okay.
You are the chaos in you.
It defines you.
It moves you.
It changes you.
And at times, it rips your heat and soul to shreds that not even the nimblest of needles or the strongest of thread can mend. But, at others, it will create you into something awe inspiring.
Captivity is madness.
Be the vessel to your chaos but at the same time, let it escape, in steams and gasps so that you can make your mark on the world.
For you are a mess.
A beautiful, chaotic mess.
X FATIMA X