Friday, June 12, 2015

Fatima: Who I Really Am As Opposed To Who I Was Pretending To Be

It has been a year since I last blogged and I realize that our blog transition, our change of heart that had never really been in the right place, everything our readers know from Zoha's perspective. I've stayed in the background the entire time, let her meet this challenge head on, she has always been more of a fighter. 

But now, now I feel like I need to express myself the way I should have 3 years ago on our very first blog. The person who sat behind the laptop screen, writing page after page of beauty reviews, that person wasn't me. 

Rather, it was the person I felt I needed to be in order to get more comments, more followers, more likes on our Facebook page, all the things that don't carry the same significance for me anymore. I didn't have fun while blogging, which I now realize is the most important part. It became a normal part of my very normal life. I didn't get excited thinking up new post ideas, I never felt the rush of euphoria when I uploaded something that I had been working on. It was routine. 

That person wasn't me.

This is me.

This is what I wanted to do ever since that day when Zoha came over and we sat in my room creating our very first blog. I suppressed that want, that need and desire to be who I wanted to be, behind the screen and on the screen. And now, hope is once again rekindled into a flame that burns bright inside of me, a blog is taking shape right before our (and your) very eyes that will tell the story of two ordinary teenagers in an extraordinary world.

I'm not a makeup artist. To be very honest, the most makeup I put on is a swipe of lipgloss here and there. Being a person who would like to call themselves an aspiring writer, I never had problems writing posts before. I made things up. The makeup that I blogged about, I never used. The fashions that I blogged about weren't always my style. 

Honesty is really important, not just in what rolls off your tongue, but in your life, your work, your ideas, everything requires you to be honest if you want to be successful. Maybe people felt, during our Fashionaholic days, that we weren't being completely truthful not only to them, but to ourselves as well.

But now, being completely honest, I'll tell you who I am and what I stand for.

This is the truth.

I want to be a writer, a neuroscientist, a psychiatrist and so much more. I want to travel the world and explore places, climb mountains and swim in oceans. I'm an adventurer, a dusty tattered thing sitting on a train with an even dustier type writer watching the world go by. And that is what I want to blog about. Whatever I want to blog about. And that's also what I think people will enjoy reading. 

A whole personality cannot fit onto the virtual pages of a blog and I'm thankful that even though it has been 3 years, our blogging journey has just now begun. Zoha and I will change as we go along, our styles of writing, what we want to write about, all of that will slowly morph into something new and different but equally beautiful, of that I am sure. Because we have finally found our meaning, our purpose in the blogging world. 

Welcome to who we really are.

Welcome home. 


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