Tuesday, February 23, 2016

And Maybe That's All It Really Was

There is a monotone to this life that I call mine. 
A background noise, whiny and droning.
That continues every second,
every day,
every hour.

At first, I tried to make sense of it.
Was I corrupted?
By the complete unoriginality of every day life.
My mind a careful mess
That had been put together.

And then I tried to change it.
Like blasting music into my eardrums
Would take away the pandemonium inside my head.

At last, I tried to accept it.
It was a noise.
And maybe that's all it really was.
I could live with that.

No I could not.

At first I tried, but it was futile.
No one can spend their lives
Listening to something
That they did not create.

And at times, it got in,
And I would be alone,
With only this mosquito whine to keep me company.

I had to get rid of it.
I woke up a sunny day
And walked.
And walked.
Until it was dark.
And I was alone.
At the waterside.

The waves were pulling.
Whoosh they went.
Buzz I went.
Buzz Buzz Buzz.
Every second.

My feet touched the water and shivers ran through me like a current.
The waves. So blue.
In and out.
Whoosh. Whoosh.
Every second.

I walked faster.
In and out.
In and out.
Dragging me.
Inviting me.

And I ran.
Until I was waist deep.
Liquid needles.

In In In.
Out Out Out.
The waves were different here.
More wild.
More ferocious, but they were pulling it from me, my buzz.
Every other second.

I closed my eyes.
Or maybe, they were already closed.
And I shut my mind.
Or maybe, it was already shut.

Time trudged on but I was oblivious.
The world no longer felt my presence, nor did I feel it's.
It was me.
In waves and waves of water.

And when I opened my eyes.
I stood and counted the seconds.

The sounds around me was sharper.
But that which had always been there.
My buzz.
Was gone.

Euphoria flooded me like the waves that had now drenched me.
My garments waterlogged and heavy, 
I trekked back.
Out of the depths.
And into the blue.

My life was just beginning.

x Fatima x

No comments:

Post a Comment

Every single comment is valued and read. Thank you so much for taking the time to write it down.

Please understand that spam and hate comments are not appreciated. They will be deleted.

Zoha & Fatima x